Stupid news also makes me very happy.

Observe:

Man Who Stripped Naked On LA-Bound Jet Held by FBI

Drunk Man Terrorizes Neighborhood on Bulldozer

Chewing Gum Bandit Steals $650 Worth of Gum From Gift Shop

Man Test Drives Car, Never Comes Back

Vandalized Robot Returns Home [Okayyy, there was an article in the paper when the robot thing was stolen, but no photo, just a mom and a kid pleading for its safe return. NOW there's a picture--and I'm officially running for cover. Lock up your children, beginning: Now. More on the vandalism here. A neighbor writes in, "Re 'Mom, Bubby's home,' June 19: As a Kettering resident who has frequently experienced the eerie, unpleasant sight of Bubby the Robot, I would have gladly paid Bubby's kidnappers a considerable sum of money to send Bubby to the bottom of Eastwood Lake."]

And dangit, there was another one–one about vandals going crazy and tearing down someone’s barn. Unfortunately, I’m having trouble locating online coverage of this one. :/

Honestly, this was the best week in the news I can remember in a long time. How long? A very long time!

Double Fail, no kidding!

[via]

Joe Jonas in high heels?! J’adore!

Yeah, I’m not even kidding. I couldn’t have made this up in a million years. I’m very excited about this, actually. Joe just beat out the Barack Obama version. Which was pretty awesome itself. Considering I am anti the song in general. Let me just say this: if I had an iPod, this video would be one of the first things on it.

{Here’s the story.} “Beyonce’s ‘Single Ladies’ video has been the subject of many viral-video parodies, most notably in a SNL skit starring Justin Timberlake, Andy Samburg, and Beyonce herself. But the latest attempt at the diva’s unitarded dance fad may be the strangest yet, and it is–to quote the always quotable Jonas Brothers–totally burnin’ up on the Interweb. This new lampoon comes courtesy of Joe Jonas, yes, that Joe Jonas, the middle and arguably cutest Jonas Brother–and yes, he is wearing high heels AND a onesie even more revealing than Beyonce’s one-sleeved leotard. Apparently Joe lost some kind of bet here, or he’s just never one to pass up a dare from the brotherly trio’s fans. Either that, or this famously purity-ring-wearing pop star has taken Beyonce’s ‘Put A Ring On It’ line way too much to heart. But whatever the reason for Joe’s bizarre Beyonce tribute, we do have to say this is kind of awesome. Awesomely weird, but awesome nevertheless. And even the JoBros’ purity-ring-eschewing nemesis, Russell Brand, must be impressed with how nicely Joe fills out a catsuit.”

I could never bring you any kind of sorrow!

I just ran a search on the posts I’ve written and to my complete and total shock it would appear that I’ve never posted “I Wanna Love You Tender” by Armi & Danny. I’m hoping it’s a mistake. Well, at least if I’ve made mistakes in the past I can always rectify it now, with interest. Here, for your extreme entertainment, is Armi & Danny in their unadulterated glory…

(Note: Armi & Danny are Finnish, NOT Swedish, and if you think you can do better, there’s a whole internet out there just waiting to see you. This is one of my favorite videos ever, but until tonight I somehow missed the fact that this music video has spawned many remakes and parodies and fan versions and whatever. Observe!)

^This is one of my personal favorite remakes, and yes I have favorites already because I just sat here watching them for the past half-hour. Doesn’t this look like GREAT fun?! Could make a party game out of it or something, or rope your best friend or significant other into doing it with you. And you have to give them a thousand bonus points for doing ALL the parts with only two people.

^AWESOME. I’d LOVE to pe part of a production like this. ;]

^Could be more polished, but they were clearly having such a wonderful time, and so was the audience, and oh my word, what fun! For more fun, here you can see an edited version with side-by-side comparisons, lol!

^All-male version. I’m a fan of the “Danny” in this one, haha.

^lol @ the disco ball. I love the outfits in this one!

If you haven’t had enough by now, or you want to do more research so you can form your own awesome dance troupe, check Youtube, there are parodies up from pretty much all over the world, from what I can see. 

Confidential to my friends: PLEEEEEAAASEEE? Fine, whatever, be that way. But my next birthday party? You’re all in for it. I’m just sayin’.

They help you sharpen your arguments!

To sum up my feelings on the Twitter movement…

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHHAHA.

I just wanna tell you how I’m feeling..

Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, here you go.