Oh, something’s not right..

This song goes out to my ex-church, creepy ex-boyfriend and any kind of cults, bodysnatchers and/or brainwashers you can think of.

Invasion [by Eisley]

The colorless words are burning our heels as the bright lights of the city fade
Taking the chase to curb our fear as the bloodless moon casts its face
Oh, something’s not right, I can feel it inside, something’s not right

You, you, you, you, you would take the breath from my throat
And you, you, you, you, you would take the cherished people that I hold

All in time you will be one of us, painless, us, blameless
Go to sleep, this won’t hurt a bit, shifting your shape to our shells
Oh, something’s not right, I can feel it inside, something’s not right

You, you, you, you, you would take the breath from my throat
And you, you, you, you, you would take the cherished people that I hold
You, you, you, you, you would take the breath from my throat
And you, you, you, you, you would take the cherished people that I hold

And they will try to make us forget ourselves
One by one, one by one
Call me crazy, but they are after us
One by one, one by one
You don’t have to know the truth
If you believe it, I believe it too
You don’t have to know the truth
If you believe it, I believe it too

Oh, something’s not right, I can feel it inside, something’s not right

You, you, you, you, you would take the breath from my throat
And you, you, you, you, you would take the cherished people that I hold
You, you, you, you, you would take the breath from my throat
And you, you, you, you, you would take the cherished people that I hold

Ten thousand tons of ice are crushing me…

Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don’t try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way. [James 1:2-4, The Message]

In the last couple of years I’ve been entangled in two major crises. My entire family is still involved in the current one, and even if it somehow ended tomorrow as nicely as possible, and I’m not counting on it, the repercussions would still be traumatic. It really sucks when people you’ve trusted seriously hurt you, and force you to choose either people you’ve known, been friends with, for fifteen years or a healthy environment and the ability to respect and cherish yourself. And no matter what you choose, it’s really hard and the consequences are long-lasting and far-reaching. But it’s not like you can really do anything about it, all you can do is make the choice you have to make, and not try to solve everything all at once. I think it’s important to get closure (check!), but it’s also important not to focus too obsessively on things. I feel like if you’re SO obsessed with pinning down the “meaning” of everything, guess what, you’re not going to find one, because you didn’t make it. You have to be able to look back and deal with whatever’s gone wrong, but then find a way to go forward, or you won’t find a reason for anything. I believe that’s where the meaning comes from, from what you do with your pain.

You will never be happy if you continue to search
for what happiness consists of.
You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life.
[Albert Camus]

In light of this, the following song has achieved a special status for me recently. It encourages me to stand my ground and to not lose heart. You can listen to clips on CD Baby and other cd e-shops, but that’s about all I can find in the way of mp3s or whatever. Sadly. Anyway, enjoy “Yosemite” by Rain Perry. Aka, a hug in song form. :]

Yosemite

Behind the backstop
And at the breakfast table
On the school bus
And other assorted torture chambers
The temperature drops
The snow falls
The glacier formsTen thousands tons of ice
Are crushing you
Into a beautiful, one-of-a-kind boy
The thaw will come
And you will be
Yosemite

Year by year
Hour by hour
Insults scrape
Lonelinesses scour
Leaving erratics
And striations
A glacial terrain

Ten thousand tons of ice
Are crushing you
Into a beautiful, one-of-a-kind boy
The thaw will come
And you will be
Yosemite

I’ve seen the brightest sparks
Glowing from the faces
Of my friends whose lives have been
The biggest mess
They don’t make landmarks
Out of ordinary places
Only landscapes that have seen
The most distress

Someday you’ll dare
To open your heart
And you’ll melt one like mine
Because you are worth knowing
Worth loving
After all

Ten thousand tons of ice
Are crushing you
Into a beautiful, one-of-a-kind boy
The thaw will come
And you will be
Yosemite

["Yosemite", words & music by Rain Perry © 1999 Precipitous Music/BMI]

When one door of happiness closes, another opens;
but often we look so long at the closed door
that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.
[Helen Keller]

“I’m My Own Grandpa”

If you’re looking for a way to summon your inner history/genealogy/math geek, this is THE EXACTLY PERFECT WAY to do it. I love this song. I have it on cd by Guy Lombardo. Here, for your listening/viewing entertainment, is an alternate version, performed by the Gogolala Jubilee Jugband, of Muppets fame:

Cue the lyrics!

“Oh, many, many years ago when I was twenty-three
I was married to a widow who was pretty as can be
This widow had a grown-up daughter who had hair of red
My father fell in love with her and soon the two were wed

This made my dad my son-in-law and changed my very life
For my daughter was my mother, ’cause she was my father’s wife
To complicate the matter, though it really brought me joy,
I soon became the father of a bouncing baby boy

This little baby then became a brother-in-law to Dad
And so became my uncle, though it made me very sad
For if he was my uncle, Then that also made him brother
Of the widow’s grown-up daughter, who of course is my stepmother

I’m my own grandpa
I’m my own grandpa
It sounds funny, I know
But it really is so
Oh, I’m my own grandpa

My father’s wife then had a son who kept them on the run
And he became my grandchild, for he was my daughter’s son
My wife is now my mother’s mother, and it makes me blue
Because although she is my wife, she’s my grandmother too

Now, if my wife is my grandmother, then I’m her grandchild
And every time I think of it, it nearly drives me wild
For now I have become the strangest case you ever saw
As husband of my grandma, I am my own grandpa”

*walks away with her head hurting*