Posts Tagged ‘stupidity’

I love Facebook fights. <_<

February 28, 2011

A friend of mine, generally open-minded and accepting, recently posted the Yahoo! Finance article “Ways Your Appearance Affects Your Paycheck” on his page. The article begins with the incredibly privileged statement, “How successful you become is mostly up to you. Success also depends on how you’re perceived by others. Numerous studies have shown looks can impact career advancement,” and then lists several qualities that will “earn” you a higher salary, including symmetrical features, the “right” height and weight, an “appropriate” degree of attractiveness, and so on. Cue Facebook Fight.

Me: “This is disgusting.

Me: “And the use of that picture in conjunction with this article is hilariously sad, because it’s from the Dove Campaign for Real Beauty. Which, skewed as it is by capitalism, is still a call to value the beauty of real people instead of holding them to standards of perfection that are not only impossible to reach (or maintain), but offensive (often racist), as well.

Friend: “I didn’t think it was THAT bad. It doesn’t explicitly say, ‘If you’re prettier you get a raise.’ In fact, it even says if you’re ‘TOO pretty’ it can actually be bad. It just gives tips on what to wear and how to present yourself, and it’s not something that everyone can’t do. Like no beards, or smile, or don’t be overweight.”

Me: “‘Skinny women.’ That right there’s actually a huge chunk of what’s wrong with it. Not everyone can (or should) be the same weight. It’s not like there’s one ideal weight for everyone. This article isn’t just about presenting oneself professionally, it’s about how people with symmetrical features or the “right” body type, and also people who conform to society’s gender and sexual expectations, are more highly-paid than those who don’t measure up in terms of physical appearance and those who aren’t interested in altering their appearance, quite literally, for the Man. If two women hold the same job, should the femme one have a higher salary than the butch one? Why is salary based on appearance and personal expression? It should be about skills, qualifications, talent.”

Friend: “I do agree about the skinny women thing and I don’t think everyone should be skinny, but I do think everyone should be healthy. And I’m all for equality and self expression and individuality, and I think it’s sad that more of our society isn’t, but I think it’s on it’s [sic] way. 100 years ago, women and people of alternative ethnic backgrounds couldn’t hold the same positions as white men did. Look how much things have changed since then, our president is black (my lambo is blue), we have female senators, CEOs, etc. I think the same thing is about to happen for people with alternative sexual orientations. They just take time though.”

Me: “I want people to be healthy too. Especially the people I love. So. Is an unhealthy weight grounds for paying someone less money than a person with the same job description but a healthier weight for their body type? (And that can only be determined by a doctor, contrary to popular opinion. Not everyone who’s considered “overweight” actually is.) Is it an employer’s job to regulate the weight of their employees? Or their health? If that’s the case, what about all the people with other health issues–cancer, diabetes, pregnancy, depression, etc.? You’re right, we’ve come a long way, but there’s still much room for improvement. There are still glass ceilings that haven’t been shattered. Women can head powerful corporations, but women as a whole still earn 77 cents to a man’s dollar. If you live in the right state, you might be able to elect queer politicians, but queer kids are still being bullied to death, literally, and much of mainstream pop culture does nothing but drive home the point that people who are different are wrong. Part of the process toward social progress is fighting the harmful things we find in our culture. There WON’T be progress without teenage lesbians suing their schools for the right to wear tuxedos to prom, people refusing to participate in a system that bases worth on physical appearance over innate qualities, etc.”

THE END, he didn’t want to play anymore. v_v


There’s more than one way to crack an egg.

February 2, 2011

There are, in fact, three that I know of.

1) Fast forward to about 2:30 and you’ll see the method that drove Sabrina up the wall, mhm.

2)  The second method I perfected myself a few years ago. It involves drugging yourself with cold medicine (presumably for an actual cold), and then getting a little happy with the cookie ingredients. Personally I enjoyed cracking my eggs into the trash can and throwing the shells into the bowl, but experiment, see what you’re into!

3) There are a few steps to the third method, but once you get the hang of it, you’ll be cracking eggs all over the place with mechanical precision! First, advance to the refrigerator and remove one egg and one stick of butter. Then close the refrigerator and place both items gently on the counter. Next, reach up and open the cabinet–you’ll need to visualize a Pyrex measuring cup in your mind (in which to microwave the butter later). Play your cards right, and a Tupperware container gone wild just might take a flying leap and land directly atop your waiting egg, breaking it neatly all over the counter.


September 25, 2010

Rainbows and ponies.

August 23, 2010

Now today, dear ones, I want to show you a lovely littl


Mwahahaha. Mwahahahhahahhaha. Mwahahahhahahahahahahha. Do not adjust your monitors, America. Your so-called rainbows and ponies have been hijacked. BY DR. HORRIBLE. I have hacked into your internetz to tell you that intelligence is dead. That’s right, sofa monkeys, no more “book-larnin’.” The future of rational thought? Is not. Why pay attention to silly little things like FACTS when you can just reject people out of hand for not being like wonderful you?

I give you, “We’ve Got to Stop the Mosque at Ground Zero” by Trade Martin.

(ps, the blogger who alerted me to this piece of crazy, a cute non-sequitur, commentated, “oh god. i am sick of hearing about GROUND ZERO MOSQUE HURRR but oh my god. they’ve gone and turned their arguments against it into a used car jingle.” RIGHT ON, CUTE. RIGHT ON.)

Dear Stupid Woman at the Post Office:

June 17, 2010

When you enter said post office without the package(s) you intend to send, you shouldn’t expect the Postmaster to know how much it’ll set you back. She doesn’t come equipped with ESP.

You probably don’t need to shove your customs form in the Postmaster’s face, either. She knows what they look like.

If you already know the answer to your question, is it really necessary to ask? If you really feel you must, could you at least keep a tiny bit of dignity by not contradicting yourself every three seconds?

Should you happen to remember that there are people in line behind you, perhaps you could make use of this fact as motivation to wrap your business up and move on out (of town) instead of glancing back  numerous times for support. “Postmaster’s an idiot! Amiright?” The fact that we’re standing on the same side of the counter doesn’t actually make us…on the same side. Just a thought.

I love how you utter sweeping condemnation of “government workers” and then reveal that you yourself were a “government worker” for twenty years! Way to go, ma’am! Kudos on your ability to put yourself in the shoes of your enemy! Oh, wait.

When you finally leave the post office in a huff and a flurry of customs forms, it’s generally considered bad form to immediately badmouth the Postmaster to the UPS guy standing outside the door.

You may also be interested in knowing that a good deal of laughter and mockery occurred directly following your dramatic exit. The Postmaster may or may not have let slip a bitter comment about right-wingers. Half a dozen people or more, strangers to you, are now in awe of your jackassin’ ways.

In short: simmer down and SHUT UP.


The smirking girl next in line.

Story below the break, haha. ;)



March 17, 2010

I was watching a movie on television a couple nights ago, and I mean late-late-night, so why don’t you just cue up the strip club commercials right now. But I digress. I didn’t come here to talk about strip club commercials. I CAME here to talk about Booty Pop. I saw the Booty Pop commercial no less than HALF A DOZEN TIMES within one movie, and I seriously was laughing so hard I would have fallen on the floor, had I not already been lying on the floor because it was late-late-night and everyone else was asleep and I had to keep the volume down. Observe.

Call me crazy, but I just don’t see the attraction. All I see is this.

THEN I showed my mother the commercial and SHE awesomely connected the dots to THIS.

Oh yes, she said it. She said, and I quote, “Bump Its for your butt!”

In other news, you know a movie is really and seriously tragic when it’s interrupted fourteen hundred times by inane infomercials and it still leaves you devastated and crying on the floor.

The word “widower” is stupid

February 12, 2010

Or at least it certainly is the way we use it.


If a woman whose husband has died is called a widow, then shouldn’t the man who died, the husband who widowed his wife, be referred to as the widower?

Yes. Yes, he should.

Just sayin’.