–the one and only quirky-o search-term game show

My blog has been translated into the following languages:

Chinese

My busiest day to date:

Saturday, 9.6.08–5,095 views

Here, for your viewing entertainment, is a greatest hits list, a collection of the best search terms that somehow direct people to my blog, organized in handy-dandy bottom-to-top fashion so you can find the latest funnies faster. And [this is me] having a bit of fun with my wild and crazy readers. :] Read ’em and weep, lovers!

“‘up in the air’ quirkyalone” [OH GOD I LOVE YOU.]

“introverted poetry” [available here.]

“what does ‘clap me’ mean” [beats me.]

“5o sent” [no such beast. even I know that.]

“linen sisters” [HAAAA. were you looking for me and my sister, or the actual Lenon Sisters?]

“animated names”

“kris allen cliche song” [HAHAHAHHAHA THANK YOU FOR MAKING MY NIGHT.]

“girls riding on hook” [I don’t know what that means.]

“italian study pinpoints possible origin” [umm, of what? curious now.]

“global warming comics for kids” [if I find any, I’ll be sure to post ’em for you, okay? haha.]

“policing cats” [and bank-robbin’ dogs!]

“original punky brewster sneakers” [I totally want some]

“punky broster” [WRONG.]

“punky brooster” [WRONG.]

“punky brouster” [WRONG.]

“punkie bruster” [WRONG.]

“dino the last dinosaur hes my friend and” [GET OUT OF MY SIGHT. DENVER IS CLEARLY NOT YOUR FRIEND–or you’d KNOW HIS FREAKING NAME.]

“justin bieber videos” [I KNEW IT! I KNEW THIS WOULD HAPPEN!]

“theological resonse and smoking marijuana” [hahahahhahahha.]

“find biography on yourself” [nope.]

“liminal birds” [okay then.]

“reburial is it un godly” [i’m wondering where you were directed. haha]

“things the government does for americans” [depends on whom you ask!]

“where does the word latipso come from” [not from me.]

“spanish kids riding bicycle and whistlin” [NEW FAVORITE ALERT]

“med school applications biased against i” […what?]

“how people love each other” [dear, did you know that people love each other just like we do? just like they do.]

“girl ‘devious smile ‘” [YES]

“im a male how do i attract another male?” [hahahhaha.]

“fried eggs” [oh yes, i talk about those allllll the time.]

“talia in the bible” [aw!]

“tree cages” [SOMETIMES! when my mommy be’s MAD AT ME!]

“oh nooo rock song” [hahahha.]

“any such thing as a loud mouth introvert” [absolutely.]

“poygirlriding” [i don’t know what that means!]

“lady gaga photo mosaic poster” [sorry, try again!]

“cabbage patch jesus” [they haven’t made one…that i know of!]

“how to attrack gods attention” [honey, it’s yours. :) seek and you’ll find!]

“facebook attracts attention but not enough” [some of us got it, some of us don’t!…i’m sorry, that was mean of me.]

“nancy pelosi cup size” [please leave. now.]

“patsy clairmont homosexuality” [no, she’s married. to a man.]

“oh nooooo” [OH NO, WHAT?!]

“watch mark driscoll punch himself” [hahahhaha]

“leave because he is introverted” [well, aren’t *you* prejudiced!]

“ellen goodman manhater” [allow me to tell you what an idiot you are.]

“we are fast, aren’t we?” [we are zooming!]

“map of canadian creel the yaqui and tara” [i don’t even know what this means!]

“introverted early morning” [disconnected! stop this nonsense!]

“smokey the bear commercial” [HAHAHHAHA SOMEBODY SEARCHED THIS! I LOVE YOU!]

“famous female actresses from the 1950s” [hahahah statistics show that most actresses are female.]

“misogynist boyfriend” [DUMP HIM. there are better men out there.]

“kiera knightley happy” [i love her.]

“‘text message relay’ game” [i hate texting. don’t ever do this to me again.]

“when did misogynist start” [when adam blamed eve.]

“social clap in norwich” [now one of my favorite search terms. thank you for playing!]

“lesbian hot mamsy” [HAHHAHA i’m sure MY MOTHER, whom i call ‘mamsy,’ would really appreciate it. thanks.]

“feminist response to mark driscoll” [yeah baby.]

“mark driscoll is a bastard” [you can say that again.]

“strongest woman 1987” [well, i can tell you right now that i know for a fact it wasn’t me: i wasn’t born yet.]

“fuschia mark driscoll seafoam” [hahahha THANK YOU SO MUCH! i’m sure he would love to know he’s now associated with these “weak,” “girly” colors!]

“bella yetta jane” [YES! i LOVE YOUUU!]

“sky fairy bucket of suckers” [i have no idea what this is, but it sounds interesting.]

“sistermeat stories” [i’m kind of freaked out now.]

“cat i could watch this all day” [cat, i could write this all day.]

“carlos has a box of apples. he eats one” [and how many does he have left? hmm?]

“nicaragua people life living -volunteer” [YESYESYES.]

“poems about loudmouth people” [by all means, send them my way!]

“can’t deny i’m untrimmed chair like a virgin you’re madonna” [okay, that is NOT HOW THE SONG GOES. you’re an UNTRIMMED CHAIR, exCUSE ME?!]

“presidential succession line” [why, you interested in the position?]

“christian perspective on cabbage patch dolls” [PLEASE TELL ME THIS IS A JOKE. if not..might i recommend you some Praise Ponies? *gags*]

“pyramids coffer laid bare in zero sum” […sure.]

“examples of aphorisms” [yes, please!]

“campaign cabbage patch kids” [hahahahhaha!]

“women dont offensive that men cant hit you” [honestly, i don’t know what the hell you’re trying to say here.]

“time for peace, adventures of an introverted” [well, searching “time for peace” isn’t going to get you here, since it’s a header image, not text. but the other half will sure do it.]

“forgetters” [unfortunately.]

“with the way she sees and the way he looks, it’s a perfect match” [i LOVEEEE YOUUU!!]

“hannah herman in oklahoma city” [we know different hannah hermans, my friend.]

“women of the caribbean” [well, i’m not, but i love it there.]

“wife naked site:wordpress.com” [..i LOVE how whoever searched this term was automatically directed to one of the mark driscoll posts! that makes me snicker. serves you both right.]

“youngadultsindayton” [i know you’re lookin’ for me!]

“clip mamsy j t aime” […is there another person who calls their mother mamsy?!]

“i believe you have misunderstood” [i believe YOU have misunderstood! ha! take that!]

“facebook anti-misogyny” [that’s us!]

“lines which means time is not important” [i have no idea.]

“ship carrying garbage never allowed to d” [?]

“aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa” [what can i even say?]

“cats marriage” [this is such a good one! i’m having fun wondering if you mean marriage between cats, or cats who participate in their humans’ weddings, or if “cats” is some kind of code, or if you by chance are referring to the cat who was featured in an animal kind of Dear Abby who apparently has a little too much luuurve for a plush toy fox?]

“how to attract a middle aged man” [good luck with that. i hope the answer continues to elude ME.]

“can not attract male” [i’m so sorry for your loss.]

“this to say that attract a male” [i’m sorry, what?]

“sandra day o connor full body” [whoa up there, stranger!]

“cabbage patch kids and nancy reagan” […………….really?!!]

“pinkquartzminerals.com” [sorry! wrong, um, url!]

“good night kittens animated” [hahahahhahahhahahhahahhahaha.]

“how to seduce a tough male” [well, don’t ask me. i can’t stand tough males.]

“punky bruster” [BREWSTER! BREWSTER! BREWSTER! BREWSTER!]

“what to say to a loudmouth republican” [the list is too long, honey, so let’s just try to be nice instead.]

“flying birds ancient” [gee! they say. why don’t you tell us how you really feel!]

“sweden introverted” [i would love to visit sweden!]

“clip mamsy j t aime” [you seem to be transmitting mixed signals! lol.]

“wife naked site: wordpress.com” [please go hit yourself in the head, or i’ll do it myself.]

“fastest ways to attract guys” [decapitate yourself.]

“introverted homeless” [when you’re homeless, people often treat you crappy.]

“young cons” [shoot me now! please.]

“favorite fictional character god” [eh.]

“why is mark driscoll so insecure” [I don’t know, but you know what, you’re spot on in your assessment of his character.]

“show flying birds from the cage photos” [there are lots easier ways of googling things, you know..there are actual techniques that tend to lead to actual results, and this is not one of them. sorry.]

“young adult vegetarian support” [honey, don’t come to my house if you’re looking for support! :( even i don’t get it.]

“palin loudmouth” [HAHAHHAHAHHAA]

“is nick jonas introverted” [from all i’ve read, he’s the “serious one.”]

“stale, worn out images of god that no longer” [go on..*smiles*]

“driscoll makes fun of righteous people” [i know!]

“i wanna wish you a merry christmas from” [the bottom of your heart? in mid-july? hahahha, i love you! let’s be friends!]

“birds flying from” [peru?]

“tonya harding” [HAHAHAHAHAHAHA i remain entirely pro-Nancy.]

“michael jackson barn” [hahhaha, no, sorry.]

“‘how does one become a butterfly?’ she asked” [faith, trust, and pixie dust!<3]

“folk/hippie music” [……….hey, wanna go see joan baez with me? seriously.]

“breast pumps” [okay, sorry, all you get is Sarah Palin! haha, I know..]

“michael jackson mosaic poster” [interesting. you mean a photo mosaic?]

“michael jackson looking sad” [ :( ]

“can not attract male” [start insulting the patriarchy. that oughta do it.]

“began to dream” [don’t stop!]

“american loudmouth women” [now there’s a phrase i’ll stand behind!]

“stick girl riding bike” [i’m not as skinny as a stick. you must have the wrong number.]

“‘women don’t need theology.'” [that’s right, we need as little education as possible, so we don’t ruin our extremely delicate brains! isn’t that right?]

“did one of the joas brothers get married” [it’s jonas, dear, and no, not yet, but kevin’s engaged! i know, i need to write a post on it. i will soon, i promise.]

“the strangest heels” [yours?]

“quickest way to make a man extremely attracted…” [please. stop now. it’s almost to the point where i’m considering changing the name of the post, okay? plllllleeeeease, relent.]

“selena gomez anorexic” [no..no, i don’t believe so. just cute.]

“now i’m done with superstars” [you’re much better?]

“vincent malloy is seven years old, he’s” [ALWAYS POLITE AND DOES WHAT HE’S TOLD!!]

“why do i get so much male attention” […honey, this is not the place you’ll find your answer.]

“tree birds” [WHOEVER YOU ARE, I LOVE YOU!!]

“to serve god and wal-mart” [it’s been said that you can’t serve both god and money. you know that, right? hmmm..]

“kris allen christian mission gay” [no, he’s the straight one. but i don’t know, he might have a mission against gays. anything’s possible, i guess.]

“mark driscoll’s critics” [i’m willing to stand up.]

“loud mouth cussing women opinion?” […yes?]

“how to leave a misogynist husband” [wow. i’m not married. i have no experience in this arena. i did leave a misogynist boyfriend once though. i’d recommend reading up on abuse, especially mental or emotional abuse, and see how well your marriage fits the symptom list. misogyny is often a good indicator of other problems in a relationship. good luck!]

“misogynist pastors” [all too common, unfortunately.]

“how to attract males on facebook” [i feel that many of my newer readers will be very disappointed once they figure out that the one and only time i wrote about “attracting males” it was in a negative fashion..]

“this generation is tired of an old-fashioned” [i wish i knew the end of the sentence. :) ]

“sheila walsh views on homosexuals” [i’m sorry, i have no information on that. if i had to guess, i’d guess she believes homosexuals can be healed. i do know that she links to new life ministries; on their faq page they say, “we believe in the importance of marriage. specifically, that marriage is a covenant relationship between a man and a woman (genesis 2:24), and that a person’s sex (male or female) is determined by god in the womb (psalm 139:13) and revealed at birth.” most likely her views are very close to that.]

“put up a parking lot amy grant” [she sang that?]

“voice loudly art” [LOVE!]

“man must rise above language” [what about woman?]

“the problem with our churches today is” [honey, we don’t have time to go into that.]

“how to handle male attention” [throw rocks at them. no, seriously.]

“free videoswomen deficating” [no. just..no.]

“mark driscoll hates you” [this is probably true. just sayin’.]

“how to attract male attention” [okay, if you’re really looking for this, move along, people. you won’t find it here. actually, i’m disturbed that you actually googled this.]

“joe jonas in heals” [heels. the end.]

“sermonds for fathers day” [i’m sorry, i can’t help you. since ‘sermonds’ don’t exist.]

“lady gaga introvert” [O.o ORLY? because she doesn’t seem like one to me.]

“can introverts be forensic scientist” [………..i fail to see why not.]

“introverted lesbian” [*giggles*]

“fear of one’s self” [that would be a terrible thing indeed.]

“loud mouth women” [YEAH, that’s me.]

“evil dead army of d” [haha, i don’t know what you’re talking about, but lol.]

“get back in the kitchen and make me a sandwich” [make your own damn sandwich!]

“oomph” […what?]

“best store ever” [noisytarli! haha.]

“”veronica reed” paternity” [i don’t even know who she is..so i guess i can’t help you.]

“cal lutheran sucks” [so do you. just kidding!]

“spelling games+ quirky” [spelling was one of my fave subjects in school..]

“if i lose my mind” and song with violin” [hey, IIII like violin..]

“aw so cute but its wrong” [no, you are! haha!]

“monetary system of the kingdom of god” [haha, what? what money?]

“highest ranking mystic of the ages” [no?]

“capitalism is evil+jesus” [quite possibly.]

“the birds” [oh my word, hide yourselves!]

“stanford law school” [here? …….really?]

“how to change narrow minded people” [near as i can tell, there’s no magic spell. sorry.]

“is there anything in the constitution ag” [ainst…WHAT? i really wish i knew the rest of your search term. :/]

“the man follows birds” [we all should.]

“fireproof anti-feminist movie” [yes, you’re right. it is. yuck!]

“selena gomez taking of her shoes” [well, no.]

“nursery rhymes throwing” [up? what?]

“who i share my birthday with” [umm, i don’t know?]

“fireproof misogyny” [oh, it’s there, believe me.]

“she likes to throw things” [well, that’s one way to put it. especially if you’re referring to, say, shakespearean insults..]

“feminism in mother earth” [that’s where i stand. :) ]

“bend it like beckham woman” [well that’s an…odd way to describe her..]

“jonas brothers handwriting” [hahahaha yes! i personally own some!]

“sailing illustration kids” [yay!]

“does rob bell think the ethiopian eunoch” [WHAT?]

“birthdate of successful women” [every day of the year, mate!]

“selena gomezs shoes” [aren’t they gorge?!]

“how to become a cobbler” [you just go. you start with a shoe as your reference. or not. but i did.]

“level floor livestock pots” [i don’t think i even know what this means.]

“tracie [edited]” [WHOOO GOOGLED TRACIE (edited)?!]

“unguarded” [yeah.]

“did david’s daughter tamar ever get married” [i don’t believe so.]

“hi.im.a.liberal” [*smiles upon you*]

“i never heard this nursery rhyme” [me either.]

“idiot feminism” lyrics” [YOU’RE an idiot.]

“the term game show lover” [i prefer the intelligence-requiring sort, like Jeopardy, to random ones like..like..Wheel of Fortune or whatever.]

“is anita renfroe disrespectful to men” [get over yourself.]

“missionary dating application” [……….what?]

“pics of keira knightley when she was young” [i like her.]

“linen sisters” [fyi, that’s my sister and me. if you’re looking for the actual singers, you know, the celebs–you’re spelling it wrong.]

“abraham lincoln’s step-brother john” [yeah, even he’s featured here..]

“mamacito poetry” [awwww! i will look for some for you!]

“quirky jonas brothers lyric lines” [not a lyric, but have you seen their sweatpants?]

“the southern baptist convention sucks” [i’m afraid i’m rather inclined to agree with you.]

“who wrote “little miss tucket”” [mother goose, i believe.]

“afghan pakol hats” [no, i don’t believe i’ve ever mentioned these. ever. everrrr.]

“the way she sees and the way he looks i…” [t’s a perfect match! HAHAHAHA love it.]

“sister brother tube” [……what?]

“talia kolker blog” [okay, who’s the stalker?]

“is the revolve tour emergent” [wait a minute, i got this search term before..and the answer is still no. they’re not even egalitarian, for crying out loud. unfortunately. they spend all this time trying to build up young women’s self-esteem, and then they turn around and tell them to submit to men. it would be kind of funny, if you were an alien and this had nothing to do with you.]

“that would be me” game show “that’s me” [hahahhahahah.]

“send texts not troops” [that’s right!]

“videoswomen playing guitars” [i don’t even know what that means, i’m sorry.]

“obama beast” [sorry, if you’re looking for that kind of crap, that’s not my specialty. i’m not into accusing human beings, especially exceptional ones, of being the antichrist. sorry.]

“you’re poor as dirt you must like the dirt” [yeah, good luck finding that. it might as well not exist, for all the attention it’s getting on the internet..i should know..:/ nevertheless! if you, my secret stranger friend, ever do find, say, a website, or full lyrics, or anyyything, PLEASE drop me a line.]

“right a story about ponies full skreem” [i don’t understand you, i’m sorry to say!]

“arabic name talia?” [i LIKE this one! hahaha.]

“my little pony” [YES you will find them here.<3]

“pregnant talia-loves nude” [ummmm..no?]

“vluptuous pics” [yeah, and good luck finding them with spelling like that. but on second thought, i’m sure you’ll do just fine..]

“my little pony 3d images” [ha i love them!]

“most people are not really free. they a…” [i agree.]

“stick figure dayton”

“lyrics friends are friendlier” [hahah you make me think of michael.]

“mercurychick” [yeah, i link to her blog, i believe.]

“sunshine, song, music video, black girl” [hahahha you search funny.]

“music video bike riding girl in red dress”

“joans brothers” [HAHAHAHHA never heard of ’em.]

“www.youngadultsindayton.wordpress.com” [someone’s looking for me, eek! haha.]

“starving” [hahahha.]

“my family members father mother sister brother”

“rhetorical analysis of the globalization” [yes?]

“god acting womanish johnson” [uh, yeah, truth of the matter is god isn’t a man.]

“jonas brothers when they were young boys” [i have an entire magazine full of jonas pix, and some of them are from when they were tiny. ;] special edition people! haha no you can’t have it.]

“the jones brothers that are hot” [well, i don’t know any jones brothers, but i can point you in the direction of some jonases who fit the bill.]

“all of the jonas brothers posters!” [i love your exuberance! :) and by all means, say no to discrimination! love peace and kevin for all.]

“joe jonas fit body” [hahahhaha.]

“cute jonas brothers” [like you had to search for that specifically? you’re kind of weird.]

“jonas brothers logo”

“joe jonas seated”

“pictures of the jonas brothers jumping”

“vashti, the queen that said no” [yeah! i love her.]

“demi lovato wearing skinny jeans” [once, at the block at orange in california, i was shopping–no, really–and i saw this sign advertising skinny jeans, and at first i thought it said skanky jeans. no lie. but isn’t demi cuuuuute?!]

“jonas brothers raising hand” [yes to that too.]

“public service announcement on anorexia” [actually, yes.]

“hateful christians gay” [if that’s the extent of your experience around people who say they’re following Jesus’ example, i deeply, deeply apologize.]

“having fun isn’t hard” [when you’ve got a library card! everybody now!]

“what to wear to church” [here’s what i wore today: red jeans, Lizzy Bennett-like shoes, a tank top, a t-shirt, and a vintage Twiggy-esque hat. and i carried a knitted fish purse. hey, you asked..]

“jonas brothers guitars” [hahahhahah nice.]

“essay focusing one single nacirema body” [um, that’s us.]

“trapeze” [aren’t they cool?]

“sermon on: church bells ringing” [um, sure. if you’re that desperate, i guess.]

“trapeze dress” [i know, aren’t they cute?]

“storms” [yeah, you’ll find that here a lot, actually.]

“how to deal with parents who treat you l” [like…?]

“tara kolker” [haha, that’s my sister.]

“is the revolvetour emergent church” [no.]

“what not to wear at an interview” [probably jeans and a t-shirt.] [Edit: Okay, I get this one EVERY DAY now.]

“how old are the jonas brothers”

“which chef was once in the cia” [ooh, i know, i know!]

“things to do today” [if you think of a good idea, let me know!]

“jonas brothers high resolution pictures”

“big pictures of the jonas brothers”

“jonas brothers concert posters”

“jonas brothers hot”

“jonas brothers signatures”

“the jonas brothers posters”

“tiger beat”

“jonas brothers hot pictures”

“jonas brothers quotes”

“the jonas brothers / s.o.s.”

“sos jonas brothers”

“jonas brothers lyrics”

“the jonas brothers”

“jonas brothers new pictures”

“jonasbrothers”

“jonas brothers singing t shirts” [HAHAHAHAHHA I gotta get me one of those.]

“fotos jonas brothers”

“joe jonas brother” [pay attention, there will be MANY more of these.]

“i love those jonas boys”

“jonas brothers handwriting” [ha, actually yes I have a sample of this, but it’s permanently mine, sorry.]

“jonas brothers burnin up tour logo”

“hot jonas brothers” [i know, right?]

“jonas brothers pictures”

“jonas brothers background”

“jonas brothers”

“patsy clairmont, is she part of the new” [euro swing dancing troupe? totally!]

“only you can hear the church bells” [*listens* mm..no..no, but i’m imagining i hear five iron frenzy..]

“phylicia rashad is hindu” [and?]

“will i find these girls anywhere else ??” [answer: yes.]

“i want you to fill in an application” [aw, go on, nick off!]

“people getting offended” [mark this: apparently, offensive is the word du jour at my blog!]

“classist beliefs” [suck]

“depressed fairy – shooting star lyrics” [haha]

“dayton young” [that would be me.]

“give me an answer to psalm 19” [sorry, can’t help you! try the 700 club.]

“mother theresa happier everytime” [imagine me and you! i do! i think about it every night!]

“how to tell if you get offended to easy” [you don’t ask me, for one thing.]

“how can i make my girlfriend work on her” [SHUT UP JERKFACE. and get off my blog. on second thought, read around a little–you might learn something for once.]

“fatten up submissive women” [see above.]

“chart of eating disorders in china” [sorry, don’t have one, but if you find one, i’d love to see it.]

“you’ll never find soemone who loves you” [and you’ll never find soemone who can spell either.]

“how to manage a small minded people” [apparently the key is to start reading scott adams’ work.]

“lucy stone’s physical appearance” [she had two ears, two eyes, a nose…]

“when did horace miner die” [go ask him.]

“face and foot scrubs” [orly?]

“role model for starving artist” [yeah, that’s me!]

“what is the best thing to to to a friend” [stop saying to, for one thing.]

“locate yourself from anywhere” [HAHAHAHHAHAAHHAH]

“trying to fix problems makes them worse” [yes, sometimes you’ll have that.]

“‘not that you need it you fat cow'” [i mean not that you look too skinny–kind of healthy looking–yeah, that’s it, you look healthy.]

“give your child a superhero smile” [what is this? is it braces, or being nicer to your kids?]

“live images of fijian girls” [sorry!]

“youtube videos/bathing rituals” [hmm.]

“pictures you will never see anywhere else” [see above. oh wait..]

“excretory act” [actually this is mentioned in one posted article but still.]

“starving black men images” [oh, i totally fit this image.]

“artist that have anorexia problems” [you’ve never seen me eat, sister!]

“susan b. anthony most successful adventure” [what is: her entire life? thank you, thank you.]

“starting a college ministry” [the first step is to acknowledge our existence, go figure.]

“mother teresa we can kill ourselves with” [with a ninja nun! hiyah!]

“quotes from the media wizards” [oh hey, Gandalf here–did you know you’re paying too much for your car insurance?!omg!]

“i would tell [my younger self] not to” [be a lemming.]

“jesus said about small minded people” [: grow up. other people are human beings too.]

“creativity and mental disorders” [hey, creativity’s a kind of order. knock it off.]

“why do people get offended” [they read my blog. just kidding.]

“i love making people offended” [don’t you wonder if these two were from the same person? looking for ways to entertain themselves, obvy]

“mother teresa let people starve” [SHH OMG DON’T TELL THE POPE!!]

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